The Long, Treacherous Road to Social Security Disability Benefts

"AnD the KinG will answer them, "Truly, I say to you, as YOU did it to one of the LEAST of these >my brothers,< you did it to ME." (Matthew 25:40)

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To say that qualifying to Federal Social Security Disability Benefits is hard is a gross understatement of the reality disabled Americans actually face today. For all of you taxpayers out there worried that the system is being abused by people who "simply don't want to work," you can rest assured that nowadays, it is nearly impossible--and not to mention excruciatingly stressful, difficult and drawn-out--for people with real disabilities to qualify, let alone someone who is lying and also lazy. Qualifying for SSI (Social Security Insurance) is not the kind of quest a truly lazy person would take on, trust me. It takes YEARS of hundreds of nagging, unpleasant phone calls, enduring tons of rude behavior from just about everybody to the Social Security employees to your own "advocate," piles and piles and PILES of paperwork, and a whole lot of sleepless nights, prayers, and tears to complete.

You will never understand the SHAME of not being able to WORK until, by the grace of God,
you are there yourself one day.

And the energy and risk one would have to put into the lying it would take to make up a believable disability? Oh, get real. Also not for the lazy, nor for the stupid, nor for those who fear prison. The massive amount of officially notarized documentation that is required to even apply for SSI, much less qualify, would necessitate DOZENS of professionals perjuring themselves and risking ruining their careers and lives just so you could receive a few hundred dollars a month.

Who would have to lie for this lazy scheme?

1) Doctors would have to falsify medical records, x-rays and/or therapy sessions, failed treatments, make up physical and/or emotional limitations, and flat out LIE in signed letters to judges and lawyers (you do know it's illegal to lie to judges, right?) It doesn't end there. 2) Previous employers & coworkers would also have to lie to those same judges and lawyers about your behavior at work, claiming that you weren't able to do your job and either were fired for it or were about to be fired for it. And finally 3) YOU & your lawyer would have to lie, too, and under oath.

 (psst... that's a felony)

And you ALL have to be telling EXACTLY the SAME LIES EVERY TIME and those lies have to match up with the falsified medical records and imagery and letters and notarized statements from everybody else.

Now remember, it's the job of a judge to sniff out a liar, so you and your team of liars had best be the absolute BEST of the WORST, or it's prison time and felony records for everyone just so that you can stay home and eat dog food because there is no way you can afford anything else on SSI alone. So the next time you have a five-minute conversation with someone who happens to be on disability and you think that by with one small interaction, you are able to accurately judge them as "just lazy and totally being able to work..."

Remind yourself that you're being a judgmental jerk

who doesn't know everything about them, their bodies or brains,

and read the 8th Commandment and its meaning. Again.

You should probably tape it to your mirror.

Because guess what. The vast, vast, VAST MAJORITY of us are truly very, very ill and/or injured and incurable/untreatable. Believe me when I say those of us who are truly disabled would give ANYTHING to be able to get up and go to work like a normal person, like we used to because it's easier, I wouldn't have to be sick and in pain every day, and it pays better.

But we can't. That's the point.

I'm sorry if that offends you.

Wait, no I'm not. You're an ass if that offends you.

And our medical bills are astronomical: mine alone are around $100,000 a year every year, with countless doctor visits and hundreds of tests and procedures and dozens of medications and week-long hospital stays every 2 months or so combined with the insane cost of medical care in our country. What's more I, like many of others, stupidly assumed I would be healthy and able to work until retirement age and went ahead and stupidly got myself a college and graduate school education with the help of loans. I also have people who depend on me to help out with food, shelter, and clothing, to take them to the doctor and dentist and get haircuts and whatnot.

What would you have me and those like me...

too sick to work, too young to have saved enough $$$ for early retirement, and not independently wealthy

...do? Lie down in the street and die?

Maybe you would, but don't go around calling yourself a "Christian." Jesus won't believe it a second, and it will probably make Him pretty mad. Our families simply aren't able to cover the cost of our existence, and though some philosophies really would have us put to death, like Hitler's, and maybe you agree with them, but the fact is that we need your help. We need the help we paid into all those years we were able to be "gainfully employed" and were taxed for it. And now, because the system was once abused by n'er-do-wells, we have to fight (yes, FIGHT) for that help.

Make no mistake: the Social Security system is still being abused.

It's just being abused from the other side.

Or perhaps it would be more accurate to say

the SSI system is ABUSIVE.

So in hopes of making it easier for some who so desperately need it, here are a few things I wish someone had told me, but I had to learn from my multiple battles with the system and the people who abuse that system from the other side. I hope these tips might help you in your fight to survive.

1) GIVE IT UP TO GOD.

You can't control this. This is out of your hands. All you can do is your best, but the fact is, you might never qualify for SSI. Not everyone who needs that help gets it, the same with every system meant to help people. So TRUST that God will take care of you and our family in some way, know that He will make some good come out of this unimaginable disappointment. SSI is not your God. It will make life easier in some ways, but it will not solve all your problems, and it will not get you into heaven. That is what Jesus is for. Please read and re-read Matthew 6:25-34 and Luke 12:22-34 for comfort and reassurance, and continue to pray in every moment that you can for God to give you whatever it is that you need.

2) GET A LAWYER.

Yes, they take up to $6,000 of your back-payments, but if you lose: you owe them nothing. And you can't win without them. It's almost as if the government and lawyers are working hand to mouth in this situation, but it's the truth. Disability lawyers know the game: and it is a game. They know what to say and what not to say. They know each judge's approval percentage, and they know what each judge likes to hear. They do the paperwork. They get your medical records to the right place (hopefully). They train you in what language to use in your hearing and tell you what evidence you need.

3) ASK FOR LETTERS.

Very concise, very short letters from your doctors stating 1) Your diagnosis (including dates) 2) Your prognosis 3) Your compliance with all your failed treatments 4) Their belief that you cannot be "gainfully employed" and stating exactly what incurable symptoms are the cause are GOLD. Ask for them. BEG for them. Cry. Do whatever it takes.

All you want is the truth in writing with their signature at the bottom.

Letters from specialists are great, but specialists tend to be very reluctant to write them and will even charge you as much as $400 for one freaking paragraph stating the truth about your ongoing debilitating illness that they failed to cure. So, ask their nurse. Nurses are a heck of a lot more reasonable than the specialists they work for (no offense, just speaking from personal experience). Nurses can write a letter from the information in your chart and ask the specialist to sign it. There's nothing wrong with that.

Your Primary Care Physician's opinion will mean a lot as well because he or she is generally the doctor who knows you the best, and therefore is more likely write an honest letter regarding your condition. Letters from your previous or current employers or coworkers are good, too. Make sure to tell them not to spare your feelings so they don't sugarcoat the fact that you were fired because you couldn't do your job, or that they had to cover for you up to 10 times a day while you were in the bathroom or unable to finish a task or couldn't sit at your desk due to pain... You might want a letter from close family members who can testify to the fact that they have to do your laundry because you can't bend over, or they have to drive you everywhere, cook for you, mow your lawn, watch your kids, pay your bills...

It hurts to read those letters. When I first read mine, I cried for 2 days. But it was all true. I wasn't going to get better, I had lost my career, and I was a huge burden to my family. Keep all the original letters FOREVER! Only send out copies! Make sure the letters are all signed and dated.

4) BE KIND.

Jesus commands it (Luke 6:27-36). Always be as friendly and as kind as is humanly possible to EVERYONE: doctors, nurses, operators, receptionists, your lawyer or advocate, and even the often super-rude SSI employees. People are far more likely to help someone who is nice to them. It's human nature. Yelling and swearing is not only sinful, it's not the way to get things done. If someone made a stupid mistake that cost you bigtime and won't even admit to it and apologize (like failed to file your address change so you were overdue getting your paperwork to the judge... Grrr...) try your best to be understanding and merciful, and embrace the attitude of "stuff happens" even if you want to slam the phone through the wall and ask the person how their parents took it when they failed out of clown college. Pray. A lot. Especially before you make a phone call. Like this:

Holy Spirit, sanctify my heart:

wipe all anger from it before I start;

Guide my lips and let them be

filled only with words that please Thee.

5) BE HONEST.

The judge doesn't want to know about your worst days. He wants an average: what is your life like MOST of the time. Don't tell him that nothing helps your pain, or that your pain is at a 10 all the time. That's just not true and the judge is going to smell a rat damn quick. You do not have to exaggerate your illness or injury if you are to the point of applying for SSI. Don't blame your doctors (unless a Dr.'s mistake is what landed you a disability, of course). No getting angry. Show the judge that you can take responsibility for you, and you have tried it all and SSI is that last thing that you want to need.

But you don't want to do the opposite either and make your situation sound better than it is. To avoid that, use simple, literal (but respectful) language when describing your condition and how it affects your life: DON'T use euphemisms. DON'T say, "I have to use the bathroom 15 times a day." DO say, "I have an average of 15 urgent bowel movements per day, each one forces me to spend 5-10 minutes in the bathroom." DON'T say, "I have accidents in public." DO say, "I defecate on myself an average of 5 times a week when I am not able to be on a toilet within 30 seconds of feeling the urge to have a bowel movement." DON'T say, "I can't play with my kids." DO say, "I can't rock my 1 year old to sleep due to the stabbing pains in my back whenever I try to sit upright."

Yes, it's embarrassing (especially with my disease, yuck. Sorry.) but it's TRUE and the judge is going to see that embarrassment and that regret, that, "Oh my God, I can't believe I'm telling a judge all this horrible stuff about me..." that you can't fake.

6) RESEARCH, PREPARE, REHEARSE

You can never, ever be too prepared. Yes, I know it hurts and you feel awful and you just want to be in bed, and that this is some of the hardest work you will ever have to do, but you have to do it. Be sure you can qualify before you apply: know how much you've paid into the system, if it's not enough, you get nothing. Learn what "gainfully employed" actually means and decide with your doctor(s) if you truly cannot meet those requirements based on your skills or lack thereof, the number of sick days you need to take, or your inability to stand or sit for certain periods of time, and so on. Practice talking to the judge. Write down things you don't want to forget to say and bring it with you.

Here are some websites to help you more.

• Disability Approval Guide
• Social Security Disability Advocates
• Social Security Disability Resource Center
• Disability Secrets
• How to Answer Questions at a SS Disability Hearing (the most helpful site, I think)

7) ASSUME ALL MAIL WILL GET LOST.

If you have to mail something to either side, send it "Delivery Confirmation" and GLUE that confirmation of delivery receipt to your fridge. If you have to fax it, keep that fax confirmation sheet and file it. Just trust me on this. There is a black hole between us, our lawyers, and SSI offices where all our mail seems to end up. Save yourself some stress. It's worth the money.

8) DOCUMENT EVERYTHING.

Do this religiously. Record phone calls if you can with both sides. If you can't, type up a quick transcript. Put names and dates on EVERYTHING: who you spoke to, when, and at what time. Take down their operator number if they have one. I sadly cannot tell you how many times EACH SIDE denied conversations that took place, as well as what was said in those conversations (how sad is that?? but oh so true). Keep all correspondence, copies of whatever you send and all the papers that you receive regarding your SSI claim and file them, no matter how trivial.

9) CALL AND NAG LIKE A JEALOUS GIRLFRIEND.

I hate to say this, but honestly, the SSI system is so backed up and the people are not at all well trained, thus, assume NO ONE will do their job, not even your lawyer or advocate. Call each side at least once a month to make sure all the information is getting where it needs to be, all the medical records requests are coming in. Call to make sure SSI hasn't put your case on the back burner (like they did mine for 120 days instead of the "promised" 60 for the first appeal). Call, call, call, but be as nice as you can possibly be.

If the person working on your case mysteriously cannot be reached via phone, borrow someone else's phone. The SSI employee responsible for my first appeal that was delayed TWICE as long as it should have been (no reason or apology given, of course) memorized my phone number and wouldn't pick up when I called him. So, I used my husband's phone and he answered immediately. (I am not making this up). I remarked as nicely as I could how odd it was that he couldn't be reached with my phone, but picked up when a new phone number show up on his caller ID not 30 seconds later. Once again, no apology, no explanation, not even any embarrassment. Just plain abuse

I hope you're beginning to get the picture of what you are up against: a whole lot of uncaring people with no moral compass or basic sense of human decency who assume we are unworthy of their time and attention. We are barely "human" to them. Grow a thick skin.

10) DON'T GIVE UP UNTIL THE BITTER END.

You'd be surprised how many times you can appeal your SSI decisions. DO NOT GIVE UP UNTIL THE SOMEWHAT OVERWEIGHT LADY SINGS because it isn't over until it's over. And then you can always reapply. Oh joy of joys.

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May God bless you and your hard work
and give you peace. 

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"This is the message that you have heard from the BeGinninG, that we should LOVE one another... Whoever does not love abides in DEATH... By this we know love, that He laid down His life for us, and we ought to LAY down our lives for the brothers. But if anyone has the world's goods AND sees his brother in need, yet >>>closes his Heart against him<<< how does God's love abide in him? Little children, let us not love in word or talk but in DeeD and in TruTH. (from 1 John 3:11-18)

"The Bad Days" by Elisabeth

...from the blog Beating Trauma: the courage to bring darkness into the light by Elisabeth

Elisabeth hits the nail right on the head, so I am sharing her article with you all today. I am not sure if she is Christian, so this is a strictly practical article, but it's useful nonetheless. “...and while being happy at all costs makes the rest of the world comfortable, I am done making everyone else comfortable at my expense. ...but even on these days, I have learned what helps. Here are some of the approaches I use...”

Click HERE to continue reading this helpful article on PTSD and surviving its bad days.

Raising a Compassionate Kid in an Uncompassionate World

...with a culture that sees "compassion" as a nothing more than meaningless political rhetoric

used to tell us about a quality the other guy doesn't have.

com·pas·sion
/kəmˈpaSHən/  noun
1. sympathetic pity and concern for the sufferings or misfortunes of others.

2. a feeling of wanting to help someone who is sick, hungry, in trouble, etc.

We know politicians  as a rule lack COMPASSION. With all the enormous blessings their job gives them: money, power, fame... those we elect to be our nation's "leaders" or "servants" (depending on what rhetoric you want to employ) are so unabashedly nasty to each other and so brazenly ugly to the Americans who—heaven forbid—exercised their right to vote by voting for the opposing party, it's enough to make any reasonable person sick, political affiliation notwithstanding. What's worse still is that every mean, hateful, despicable, spiteful word of it is plastered all over morning, daytime, and primetime TV & radio, and is often repeated at our own dinner tables as we fall into the trap of routine slander and gossip because #1) they're not real people so who cares, and #2) all that nasty, mean, despicable, spiteful stuff is true, right? Right?? At least it's true about the other guy. ...right?

Mothers and fathers used sit around their supper table and tell their kids,
"You can be President if you work hard." 

...back when our Presidents were respected and you didn't have to be a multimillionaire to run for office. Now, mothers and fathers sit around their supper tables and bash either the President of the United States or the President's opposition, depending on their own party affiliation (which is a giant slap in the face to Romans 13 and the Eighth Commandment, btw). And "politician" now stands where "used car salesman" once stood: the epitome of insults and the butt of jokes, the prime example of liars, swindlers, and self-serving greedy frauds who should never be trusted. Are we truly so much better than they are?

So, it should come as no surprise when our children lack compassion.
"Do not be deceived: “Bad company ruins good morals."

(1 Corinthians 15:33)

A general lack of compassion isn't just the fault of our politicians' astounding lack of character and our own compassion-less slip-ups. Have you read what's being written and posted on social media sites like Facebook, YouTube, Tumblr, Snapchat and Instagram? You should. As a blogger, I'm sorry to say that I have, and believe me: compassion is nowhere near the online community's radar. I have never, ever experienced such animosity and bone-chilling hate as I've experienced from people online. The anonymity of a screenname and the distance created by a keyboard bring out the worst in people, just like Ralph Ellison's 1952 novel The Invisible Man, which is about the detrimental deterioration of man's moral character when he no longer has to look himself in the eye. The same thing apparently happens to us when we no longer have to look others in the eye and see firsthand just how much "they" resemble "us."

In the same manner, there is no room for compassion in the current pop culture's version of entertainment and music. Have you seen the TV shows your kids watch regularly? Have you listened to the music they listen to every day on their way to school and while they're doing their homework? The media is jamming our kids' minds and hearts with thoughts of sex, power, money, popularity, image, the right clothes, the right hair, the right body, the right car, the right girl or the right boy who has the right body and the right clothes... until there isn't room for human compassion for people they like, much less for a God so full of compassion for people who hate Him "that He gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life." (John 3:16b)

How can one have empathy for another if

one's own individuality: in other words, "one's own self"

is their highest priority?

And yet, the little kids—those still outside internet, news and pop culture's blood circle—seem to have it almost innately. Maybe it's part of that childlike humility Jesus talks about all of us needing in Matthew 18, or maybe they pick it of from us like a sponge if that's what we and their nothing-but-happy TV shows show them is normal, or maybe it's both. During a fictitious movie about the charming life of cartoon ants, my 2-year-old daughter shouted in outrage at the television screen when the mean grasshopper bullies stole food from the decent, hardworking ants. The next day, and even a week later, that same 2-year-old refused to step on an ant because she might hurt "him," not "it." This same 2-year-old cranes her neck to see the baby crying in church and begs me to let her go so she can give the upset baby one of her toys, something her 19-month-old friend taught her when she brought my daughter a teddy bear (without any prompting) when she was crying because she hurt her hand in gymnastics.

I could go on and on with endless eyewitness reports about how empathetic little kids are (when they aren't throwing tantrums about not getting Cheetos for their afternoon snack or something. Hey, nobody's perfect).

And then sometimes something changes.
But what?

How do kids become bullies anyway? Leslie Blanchard has an idea, and an idea how to stop it in its tracks. "It’s simply not enough to instruct your children to “Be Nice!” Blanchard writes. "You’ve got to be more specific than that. Kids think if they aren’t being outright unkind, they are being nice. We know better. Connect the ugly dots. Explain the Darwinistic social survival instinct that’s often motivating and guiding their impulses. I promise you, they can handle it. They already see it on some level anyway. They just need YOU to give it a voice and re-direction..."

The Ugly Online

Before Blanchard's article continues, I would like to give parents and children of all ages the following suggestions when it comes to children and teens using the internet to help 1) ensure that your child is not bullying anyone, 2) ensure that your child is not being bullied, 3) secure your child's emotional and physical safety 4) your child learn and use good judgment.

1. You are not "spying" on your child if you make that child fully aware of the information that you—as their parent and most likely the patron of their technologies—are entitled to. Let them know that you will be watching what they are doing, seeing, and saying online, not because you don't trust them, but because you care about them, and bad company corrupts good morals and you don't trust everyone else. If your kid tries to complain about privacy, hand him or her a journal and a pen with a sincere promise that you will never, ever read what's written in it, and neither will anyone else because if privacy is what they want, nothing in the world is less private than the internet. People have lost careers because they dressed up as something offensive for Halloween and posted "selfies" on their Facebook page.

2. Make your kiddo aware that both you and God expect them to treat EVERYONE with kindness and respect both face to face AND online, and continually remind them WHY you expect this of them.

"And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ The second is this: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no other commandment greater than these.” (Mark 12:30-31)

"There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love. We love because he first loved us. If anyone says, “I love God,” and hates his brother, he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen cannot love God whom he has not seen. And this commandment we have from Him: whoever loves God must also love his brother." (1 John 4:18-21)

“Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who abuse you. […] And as you wish that others would do to you, do so to them. If you love those who love you, what benefit is that to you? For even sinners love those who love them. And if you do good to those who do good to you, what benefit is that to you? For even sinners do the same. [...] But love your enemies, and do good, and lend, expecting nothing in return, and your reward will be great. […] Be merciful, even as your Father is merciful. Judge not, and you will not be judged; condemn not, and you will not be condemned; forgive, and you will be forgiven.” (from Luke 6:27-37)

3. Remind your child often that once something has been posted online, it can never ever be totally erased NO MATTER WHAT and posts have ruined lives. Some posts have taken lives. (Click here to read Amanda Todd's Story: the Canadian teenager who committed suicide after being relentlessly bullied online over nude pictures she took of herself and shared with a man she thought was her friend). Here are some ideas to help get you started when it comes to parenting a kid online, but this list is by no means complete. For more information on internet safety, visit the Internet Safety page of Parenting.com or read "The Secret Life of Kids Online."

4. If your teenager wants a Facebook account or something similar, first make sure your child fits the age criteria (usually 13 years old). Then decide if your child is mature enough to handle a Facebook account in a responsible way. If you agree that your teen fits the bill, tell them that you are entitled to their password and to be "Friended" so that you can know who their "friends" are and see everything they post and everything that is being posted to them, including PMs (private messages). Make sure your teen understands that Facebook privileges can be revoked at any time in response to their behavior on and off the internet. It might be wise to draw up a simple contract for you and your teen to sign so that everyone is clear about the terms

5. If your teen wants a cellphone and you agree that he or she is responsible enough to have one, remind him or her that you are able to request a record of texts from the phone company at any time and can easily see WHAT he or she is texting, WHO they are texting, and what is being texted BACK to them. 

If your teen has a driver's license or learner's permit and a cell phone, please please PLEASE, for the sake of my child and your child and everyone's child, make sure he or she is painfully aware of the dangers of cell phone use—especially texting—while driving and start a ZERO-TOLERANCE POLICY.

Be very clear that a cell phone is a privilege and will be taken away indefinitely (along with driving, for that matter) as his or her behavior warrants. Here are a few links to anti-texting while driving ads everyone with a license and cellphone should watch, regardless of their age:

"The Last Text"    "Close to Home: It Can Wait"    "Fletcher's Drive: It Can Wait"

6. If your teen wants to play a MMORPG (Massive Multiplayer Online Role Playing Game), stipulate that the game must be played on the family computer with the speakers on (no headphones) so that anyone nearby can hear and see what's happening and what's being said. Read about the game and pay close attention to the game's ESRB Rating (Entertainment Software Rating Board). This will tell you what the game's violence, sexual, and language content is as well as what age the game is approved for. This all might seem a bit extreme for a silly game, but the brutal bullying and highly sexualized conversations that take place in these silly games are equally extreme, if not more so, especially when it comes to female players.

Remember: anyone can lie about their age and intentions online.

7. Your teen's cell phone and laptop should stay in a designated spot (not your child's bedroom, but someplace out in the open, like the kitchen counter or a hall table) to charge overnight beginning at the hour you and your spouse designate. If your teen uses their phone for their alarm clock, a real alarm clock can be purchased for under $10 at your local Walmart. Teenagers do no need to sleep with their phones or computers, and sleep experts agree (see "No Screen Time Before Bed").

8. Learn the lingo: see Chat Acronyms & Text Shorthand

9. Most importantly, BE A GOOD EXAMPLE. Be the person you want your kid to be. Just like when they were 2 years old, our teens and tweens pick up what we do like a sponge. If you disagree with a politician, a law, a tax, or any kind of authority, do so respectfully and pray for both patience and change in the government and that politician's mind with your child. If you don't like a coworker or an ex-spouse or something a friend did, do not badmouth them in front of your child (especially if the ex is your child's parent!) or anywhere at all, for that matter. Keep the Eighth Commandment and pray for them in earnest:

Not a nasty They-are-so-rotten-that-I-have-to-pray-God-will-save-their-soul-before-they-go-to-hell-see-how-much-better-I-am-than-they-are non-prayer. God does not condone non-prayers because non-prayers mean you need to be praying for God to save your soul. See Luke 18:9-14 for Jesus' example of a non-prayer.

Honestly pray for God to help you come to an understanding with this person and to give you the ability to treat them with kindness and mercy despite their actions, and ask God to help this person see how they have hurt you and to help them change their ways. Ask your child to please pray with you and for you! You don't have to give them the details of the event or the person's name, but if they see you praying for someone who has hurt you, it will have a profound effect on how they respond when someone hurts them. So, when your child comes home from school and one of his or her friends has done something hurtful to him or her, read Luke 6:27-37 with your child and pray together before discussing how to address the situation.

Here is the rest of Leslie Blanchard's article on raising the bully out of your baby:

"My Worst Nightmare"

Parents Who Are Worse Parents Than You

"Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time He may exalt you, casting all your anxieties on Him, because HE CARES FOR YOU. Be sober-minded; be WATCHFUL. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. RESIST him, firm in your faith, knowing that the same kinds of suffering are being experienced by your brotherhood throughout the world. And after you have SUFFERED a little while, the God of all grace, who has CALLED YOU to His eternal glory in Christ, will Himself RESTORE, confirm, STRENGTHEN, and establish you. To Him be the dominion forever and ever. Amen." (1 Peter 5:6-11)

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CONTENT WARNING: Some of the following pictures are extremely offensive!!! And some probably (we can only hope) are staged as a joke that couldn't possibly be less funny. Reader discretion is strongly advised.

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Please keep in mind that my ideas of "bad parenting" and "good parenting" might differ from yours, and I do not mean to offend anyone. While I had originally intended this post to be on the humorous side, it ended up kind of making me angry. So it might just make you angry. Sorry. But the end point remains the same: to help chronically ill Moms understand that if we are doing our best as a parent, sick though we may be, we are doing fine in the big scheme in this baptism-by-fire, trial-and-error, unique-to-every-mom-dad-kid-and-situation, most-important-job-of-our-lives thing we call PARENTING. So keep going. Don't give up, and don't beat yourself up. With the help of God, your child will be okay, even if you have to be a parent from the couch or from a hospital bed once in awhile (so long as you are not doing any of the following).

Your kids know you love them more than life,

and that you are trying to get better for them.

*** SOME OF THE WORST PARENTS EVER ***

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*** SOME OF THE BEST PARENTS EVER ***

This Mom & Dad got tattoos of their daughter's birthmark.

(Click to enlarge).
This girl bullied another online, so her
parents had her sell the technology she used to do it
and donate the money to the UK charity "Beatbullying."
WIN!

If my child bullies another publically, you'd best
believe public shame would be part of their punishment.
I am a firm believer in walking a mile
in the other guys' shoes. 

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Another unique form of punishment
that seems to be working. 

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You think you're sneaking in
after curfew? Think again.

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Social Media is a danger zone.
When temptation becomes too much,
take it away.
WIN WIN!!!

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Gratitude is not innate. It has to be taught.
Sometimes the hard way. WIN!

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"Indeed, all who desire to live a GODLY LIFE in Christ Jesus will be persecuted, while evil people and impostors will go on from bad to worse, deceiving and being deceived. BUT as for you, continue in what you have learned and have firmly believed, knowing from whom you learned it and how >>> FROM CHILDHOOD <<< you have been acquainted with the SACRED WRITINGS, which are able to make you wise for salvation through FAITH in Christ Jesus. All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for TEACHING, for REPROOF, for CORRECTION, and for TRAINING in righteousness, that the man of God may be complete, equipped for every good work." (2 Timothy 3:12-17)