Saturday, May 23, 2015

Alone in the Lone Star

This is an email I received. The author wishes to remain anonymous. My response will be posted in a few days. Any other responses in the meantime are welcome.

Dear Megan,

I have two daughters, ages 4 and 6, and I have fibromyalgia. I was diagnosed in 2012 after years of suffering with pain and fatigue and not knowing why. My biggest challenge is missing the important events in my childrens' lives because I'm in too much pain to get out of bed. I've already missed my oldest daughter's preschool graduation. Not a big deal, right? I mean, it's not her high school graduation after all.

But what if it will be? First I miss their recitals, then I can't teach them how to drive, then their proms pass me by... Their wedding days? The births of their own children? I am scared that I won't be there for my kids because I'll be forced to take care of myself. I don't want to put myself first because that's not what a mom does.

It hurts. I've tried to talk to friends and family about it, but they tell me to “buck up” and be thankful for what I have and not to borrow trouble. I am thankful for what I have. I know it could be worse. But I'm still sad about the way things are and the lack of control chronic illness creates. Thanks for giving me someplace to share without judgment.

Alone in the Lone Star