Sunday, August 2, 2015

My Smile Might Mean Something

Sometimes the darkness comes.
     It's heavy on my shoulders.
     It's icy in my heart.
     It's tired in my brain.
Eventually it will dissolve the same as it came,
     and I might feel like myself.
     But I don't like myself.
     I don't want to feel like me either.
Maybe someday I will feel like her.
     The darkness will fade and not come back.
     My bed will be for bedtime only.
     And I could run again.
I wonder if she knows Christ's suffering as well
     as I've been asked to know it.
     I wonder if she is grateful
     for each breath that wasn't work.
I wonder if she ever wonders
     if maybe someday she will see
     her pain etched on her daughter's pretty face:
     the one time I would wish that pain belonged just to me.
Still, someday my smile might mean something
     more than the lie it's telling you.
     I don't know that you would notice.
     With any luck, I'd fail to notice too.

                         ~ In the Dark

Even though it isn't nearly everything, if you have your health, say a prayer of thanksgiving.
Because it is something. For those of us without it, it's a lot.
**The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-8255
Satan whispers the loudest when we are at our weakest.
If the darkness begins to feel like too much, tell someone. Anyone.

"Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of His might. Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the schemes of the devil. For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places."